Promises
by thelordsnow
Summary: Jon and Ygritte move their relationship up a level, just to be hit with a pile of drama neither of then needed. modern day!AU
1. Chapter 1

very very quick ficlet i wrote for valentines day - please try and ignore the terrible grammer, it's the story i was focusing on. obviously they're ages are off as well, it was just a prompt someone sent me and i wanted to get it done today so voila!

* * *

Grief. Five letters that said so much. Two years it had been since Jon received word that his father was dead. _His father was dead_. He lay on his back. The bed beside him was empty, the sheets smooth and untouched. It was waiting for someone, someone Jon had waited so long to let in. the Walls had always been there, but his father's death had added another six feet. It was remarkable how much Ygritte had managed to chisel down.

He sat up, running his hands through his hair and over his face. The digital clock on his bedside table showed six minutes past four in the afternoon…_shit_ was his first thought, he had best get dinner going.

Flowers sat primped and colourful behind his door, ready to fill the vacant vase he had ready for the table. He smiled to himself and exited his bedroom. The flat was cold, it was February after all and his landlord wasn't the best when it came to keeping his tenants happy or you know, /warm/. He flicked the switch on the small space heater he had ended up going and buying and sighed at the whirring and heat it began to project over his bare feet. Okay. Dinner.

Now Jon was a typical student; couldn't cook much more that anything pasta based, anything he could get for a decent price in Iceland (so pretty much everything really) and market fruit and veg he insisted on keeping in his fridge. To be fair, none of this would have been within his rice range if he had been a year younger. His placement was going well and with the occasional job he could get on the racecourse during the season gave him enough to live a better student life than many. Ygritte would say he had too much and that he should be living it up in ever club Chester presented him with, but he had never been the partying type. Except after his father had died, but that was a dark thought quite unfitting for the mood he was hoping to set. He took a breath and jumped up and down a couple of times in an effort to warm his body and then made for the kitchen.

Spaghetti bolognaise was the main item on the menu, along with a cheesecake (a frozen one from Iceland…he wasn't much of a baker) and a couple of bottles of bubbly. He'd stocked up on a beer as well. Ygritte may be a St Andrew's girl but he knew how much she detested having to keep up appearances of poshness and refinement at those formal evenings she had to attend in accordance with the contract of her scholarship. Jon didn't have a clue what she had agreed to when she accepted her place, but it seemed bizarre. He reached up and pulled down two plates, two glasses and a red tablecloth from the cupboard above his head and made his way back to his tiny living area. He wasn't going conventional dinner for two, covering the middle of the room instead with throw pillows and blankets and cute little tea candles. He lifted the coffee table to the centre of it all and shook the tablecloth down onto it. Then he finished off with some cheesy heart shaped confetti and a single candle. He looked down at his work and grinned. /perfect? Couldn't get any closer/

With the meat sizzling away in a large pan and spaghetti just coming to the boil Jon took a moment to bring his thoughts together. This was the night, the night everything was going to change. He tapped a finger on the solid object in his pocket just as the doorbell buzzed. He jogged over to the receiver

"Ygritte?" he asked into the phone

"Yes, who else? let me up you idiot" he put the phone down and laughed to himself. Two minutes later he was opening the door, flowers in hand to the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. She arched an eyebrow at him until he whipped his arm around to reveal the flowers and watched her face dissolve into that crooked smile. She stepped forward and took them leaning up to warp her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, heart beating fast in his chest. She pulled back and made to step past but he held her there, prompting confusion to flash across her face. He caught her gaze and then leant forward slowly and pressed his lips into hers. She seemed surprised at first but responded well, wrapping her arms tighter around his neck. When they pulled away she was flushed, and the edges of his lips twitched.

"Wow" she breathed and then looked at the floor

"Come on, foods almost ready" he smiled and took her hand, leading her over to her seat on the floor. "I've slaved over this dinner, so you had better enjoy it"

"Oh" she replied, quieter than usual "I think I will"

A full stomach and two beers later they sat opposite each other, laughing so hard it was a marvel neither had thrown up the food they had just consumed.

"STOP JON! I SWEAR I WILL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!" he pulled back, giving her feet back. "I am never asking you for a foot massage ever again!"

"Oh but you know I give the best massages" he laughed, taking another swig of the wine he had poured himself. The nerves were beginning to set in as he realised everything he had planned was coming to an end. Just the night lay ahead of them. She coughed and shifted slightly into a more comfortable position, picking up her own beer and sipping delicately from the half empty bottle. Silence fell like a blanket of snow, but Jon was transfixed. He was watching the way Ygritte ran her finger through her hair, pushing it this way and that, and then shaking it free. She would take a sip, swallow and the nibble on her bottom lip. Her eyes roved from item in the room to the next; first the television, then the heater and finally out of the window. She gasped, and Jon smiled at the excitement that began to show on her face.

"Jon, look! It's snowing, it's actually snowing!" she jumped up and ran to the window, staring out in awe as the tiny snowflakes fell slowly toward the ground. She struggled for a moment with the window before managing to crack it open. Then she stuck out her hand and let the snow melt onto her skin. She was so enraptured she didn't realise he was approaching until Jon's hands were on her waist. She gasped and half turned but Jon held her there, resting his chin on her shoulder and raising a hand to join her own, out in the cold air. Ygritte turned her head to look at his face, but he didn't move, he stared out into the night, smiling slightly.

After a few moments, Jon felt Ygritte begin to shiver in the loose cotton jumper she wore. He caught her arm in his hand and pulled it into her body, moving his head to nuzzle into her neck. She gasped at that again, stiffening and relaxing all within a second. He trailed his lips across the skin at the side of her throat and then along her jaw until he met her lips. He opened his eyes then, looking into Ygritte's own with longing. They sparkled with the reflection of the moon and widened in assent as he kissed her. He watched her lids flutter and soon enough she had turned in his arms and gripped the front of his shirt in her small hands. The urgency in which they kissed brought them back over and down onto the pillows. She was pulling at the bottom of his shirt, but he stopped her, disengaging from her lips for a moment. She looked at him in surprise, which soon turned to hopelessness. She leaned forward again "Jon…" she said into his lips. He pulled away again, sitting up and pulling her with him. She sighed and made to move off him

"No, stay, hold on" she settled back into her place, straddling his legs and looking confused, Jon reached down and slid his fingers into the pocket of his jeans which was difficult considering the position in which he was sat. "close your eyes" he told her" she did so, grudgingly. He pulled the little blue velvet box from his pocket and clicked it open before shifting them both into a more comfortable position; knee to knee opposite each other. He took a breath and held it up in front of her eyes. "okay" he breathed.

She opened one eye first, and then spotting the ring in his hand opened both in shock. She looked at him, mouth slightly open and reached up to push her hair behind her ear. She shuffled slightly and chocked out a nervous laugh, but Jon didn't smile yet. She swallowed and then made to take it, but pulled her hand back at the last moment.

"Jon, is-"

"no, listen" he interrupted "four years I've known you, for three of them I've shared more things with you than anyone. I was difficult; I've been the most difficult boyfriend in the history boyfriends. And I know you have wanted more than I have been able to give to you because of, my…my father." He swallowed and looked up at her, all joking aside "but you waited for me Ygritte" he reached up with his free hand and took the side of her face lightly "and you helped me. You brought down the walls and you, you changed me and showed me so much I had never seen and I have you in awe Ygritte, you amaze me and I don't…I don't know what I would do without you." He was smiling breathlessly but he still needed to explain what the hell he was doing with the ring in his hand. He looked down and removed the emerald and silver from the plush red cushion. He held it up in front of her "this is me. This is all of me, or a promise if you want to look at it that way" he shrugged noncommittally and watched as she began to smile "this can be what you want it to be, an engagement ring, or just a piece of jewellery. But whatever you decide it will be my promise." He lifted her left hand "my promise to be yours from now" he placed her ring finger at the edge of the ring and looked up at her "until forever. Do you accept?" there was a moment's hesitation where for a fleeting second Jon thought she would refuse, but then she was moving toward him and her lips were on his and their fingers were fumbling and he was feeling the cold metal against his own fingers and they entangled with her own

"Jon" she whispered in between kisses "thank you, I just-

"I know" he finished, falling back onto the pillows and allowing her to stretch out on top of him. He was shirtless and her in her underwear before he noticed she was sobbing. He pulled back and took her face in his hands. "Ygritte, wait, what is it?"

She didn't meet his eyes until a few seconds later

"I love you, Jon Snow. I am so in love with you." She tried to repress a sob "you- you stole my heart Jon, and I don't think I can every let you go."

"Then don't" he replied, running a hand along her back and settling it just above her hip "just don't. I'll never let you go Ygritte. I love you, and I will never let you go."


	2. Chapter 2

okay so i really shouldn't have been uploading this until later in the year but i finished it and well screw it figured i'd stick it up! this is quickly soon turning into a vastly developing plot, blatantly predictable (you should know me by now) full of smush and extremely cheesy (again, you know me xD)

* * *

It was stupid really, getting so excited over something as small as an Easter hunt. The thing was Ygritte had grown used to waking up next to Jon on the various weekends she spent in Chester, watching him type manically into his laptop. She enjoyed watching him work, the thoughtful expression he wore as he was flitting through this paper or that. He always looked so young so…_naïve_. If she hadn't been through this exact same routine a couple of years ago she would possibly be tugging away at his sleeve to get him to come away from his work, but she knew how tough dissertations were. The fact that he allowed her down here in the first place was a marvel. When Jon set himself to something he went through with it, even if it meant staying up half the night consuming cup of coffee ("coffee? Are you kidding? That stuff is gross!" was his response to her suggestion, he had given in in the end however, after a bit of persuasion) after cup of coffee and sleeping until midday every other morning. She hardly saw him without a book in hand, and he even insisted on bringing his iPad out with him on the occasions she dragged him out for fresh air. No, he was completely hers as of Easter morning and she intended on making to most of the time. As a child, she had been one to run wild and it was easy enough to do up north but Jon had had a rather more…imperious upbringing. He may have been the black sheep of the family but he hadn't missed out on any of his sibling's education. They both knew different types of freedom. Jon had scoffed when she had suggested a hunt:

"Babe we're not kids. Besides where the hell are we going to do an Easter hunt around here?" she had raised an eyebrow before replying

"You know nothing Jon Snow. There's a load of guys going from the uni, your" she poked his chest "friends. Down by the river, with a bit of a party on one of the river cruise boats to follow."

"How do you know all of this?"

"Facebook obviously, it was a group message. Jake obviously knows we're a thing…"

"Wait, wait. You were talking to _Jake_?" he looked angry at that. She huffed a sigh and crossed her arms across her chest

"There were about twenty of us Jon. Anyway, why would I want to talk to him?" he stuck her with a stare that made her shift uncomfortably and feel slightly guilty. She met his eyes to find them still icy and slightly hurt. "That's done with Jon, why are you still going on about it?" she wasn't going to pretend it didn't hurt a little that he was still so suspicious. He leant back on one foot, fiddling with his fingers

"Because I can't help it 'Gritte. Because…" he struggled for a moment looking up at the ceiling. After a moment he sighed and fell down into the sofa behind him, rubbing his face. He didn't meet her eyes when he replied in a small voice "because I'm not good enough for you. I never was and I never will be. And Jake…." She grimaced down at him "…Jake is. That's why. Because Jake is, okay?" she stared down at him for a moment, realization crashing over her in waves. She lowered herself so she was crouching in front of him, hands on his knees.  
"Jon. You will_ always_ be enough for me. Besides…" She rolled her shoulder and then pushed herself up onto the sofa, straddling his knees, trailing a finger up from his stomach to his collar bone. "…Jake, will never…" she leant forward and kissed him, softly at first but he responded quickly and the rest of her sentence was lost. Needless to say he didn't get anymore work done that night.

It as odd, knowing that no matter that she did he would not flinch. She turned onto her side, smiling at Jon's face turned toward her, so peaceful in sleep. All the tension had left his limbs, chest rising and falling evenly. She reached across and brushed the hair from his face. He shifted slightly at her touch, brow creasing. Ygritte pushed herself up into an elbow looking down at the promise ring on her finger fondly. It had taken so long to reach him and even behind her teasing it had still hurt and at first she had taken it hard. She had always been a forward person and she wasn't one to wait around before making a move but being rebuffed as she had was tough and that was where Jake came in. The guilt she had felt after that night however, took her aback. When Jon discovered what she had been hiding from him he hadn't spoken to her for nigh on two weeks. She finally broke through to him one day, finding him breaking down over his bathroom sink. He was scared she soon realised. Scared of his future, scared of messing up as his brother had and what shocked her most; scared of losing her. How could she turn her back on that? If anything it made her try that bit harder and slowly, with baby steps she began to break away some of that shell he had encapsulated himself in.  
The green gem sparkled in the morning sun filtering in through the thin curtains. Her eyes moved back to Jon's face, smile growing warmly on her face as he saw his eyes open a fraction, squinting at the light. "Morning beautiful" she whispered, leaning forward and planting a kiss on his forehead.

"What time is it?" he croaked. She looked over at the digital clock perched in his bedside table.

"Erm exactly 8:43 by that clock" he groaned and turned his face into the pillow. "Come on mister lazy arse" she slapped his shoulder and slipped into a standing position stretching her arms above head. Jon sighed in contentment behind her. She was wearing the same underwear set she had been wearing that first night and however much she complained about it, saying it was old and unflattering, Jon insisted it was his favourite and so she had fallen into a habit of wearing it every time she visited. After a while she began to admit that it was growing on her. Ygritte scoffed and flicked a pillow with excellent aim at his head. "Now hurry up or I'll get in the shower without you."

* * *

Jon wasn't the best when it came to mornings. A year ago he would have been up at dawn, sweats on and out the door for a run, and that was before breakfast. Ygritte had made him lazy. _a year…_ he paused in turning his bacon in the pan. _11 months…_ he smiled, wondering whether his girlfriend had realised how fast their anniversary was approaching. He piled the bacon onto its awaiting bread, squeezed on a healthy volume of ketchup and then re entered the lounge where Ygritte stood stooped over her phone.

"Hewwow" he said right behind her, mouth full of heaven. She gasped, dropping her phone in an effort to put it away. Jon leant down to pick it up at

"Dany?" his eyes narrowed in confusion. She snatched the device from his hand and shoved it onto her tight pocket.

"She was just checking up on me, I wasn't well when I was last down at hers that's all." she poked him in the stomach and stood up on tip toe to kiss away a smudge of ketchup from the corner of his mouth. For some reason he had lost his appetite. She reached round and grabbed the rucksack they had filled with food and booze, grabbing his hand "come on jealous pants" he grabbed his jacket and followed suit. Turning to lock the door behind them, he paused

"What have you forgotten now?" Ygritte teased in mock annoyance. Jon shook himself and turned towards her, trying his best to smile normally.

"Nothing" he breathed "I'm fine, let's go"

* * *

The day was warm enough for the end of March, making Ygritte sweat slightly in the leather jacket she wore. She had been brave and picked out a pair of dark turquoise skinnies that cut off just about halfway down her calf. On her feet were a pair a chucks sporting yet another of her favourite superheroes ("_please_ do not tell me you're a Marvel over DC guy Jon?! Okay we need to get you to a decent comic store") and a black Led Zep tee peeked out from underneath her jacket. The sky was clear and the city centre was busy, despite the lack of open shops. She inhaled deeply as they wandered past lush, the shop still managing to emit a delicious scent even with its doors closed. Kid's ran here and there clutching buckets and wearing make shift bunny ears. Ygritte fiddled with the zip on her pocket, trying to avoid the gaze of every child that passed. Jon looked down at her when she began to tap out a beat on his arm absentmindedly. "You okay?" he queried. She looked up at him, confused and lost in thought. Jon slowed; "Ygritte?" he spoke again. She searched his face for a moment, struggling with words but then simply leant up and kissed him softly. Jon drew back slowly afterwards, they had come to a full stop. "What was that for?" he said half bemused, half concerned.

"I love you Jon Snow, I _really properly_ love you" he nodded cautiously

"I know…come on, or Jake will get pissed at us before we've even arrived." He offered his arm "and that would most definitely not be a good start to the day"

The group wasn't hard to spot, all sat languidly against posts or lounging across steps leading down to the river's edge. The area seemed swarming with children and their parents. Ygritte rolled her shoulders uncomfortably and sped up. Jake turned at their approach, smirking the way he always did. Jon cleared his throat and Jake's eyes flashed momentarily to him.

"'Gritte! Where you been at lately?" he grinned at her and then turned to Jon "Jon" he nodded

"Well, philosophy is a fun qualification to gain but finding a job down here has been hell. You guys alright?" she tried to focus on speaking to the whole group, but noticed Jake's intense gaze. She smiled over as they all nodded and muttered their thanks. Jon seemed intent on fixing Jake with the most venomous stare he could muster and Ygritte knew for a fact that if she had been on the receiving end she would have wilted. However she was not and all it did was turn her the hell on. She nudged him until he blinked and smiled. A girl stepped up next to Jake holding out about six differently coloured tin buckets.

"We've been out here since about 8 hiding the eggs with a load of parents that volunteered. We're sort of part of a collaborative effort. They basically told us we could join in the kids as long as we bought our own chocolate." She handed them both a bucket. Everyone got to their feet. Jake clapped his hands together.

"booze is going up on that boat there along with any food. One with the most eggs when we get back here get's the first shot!" he grabbed his own bucket, winked at Ygritte and jogged off. The rest of the group followed, pushing each other and laughing. Jon's eyes followed the leader off until he was too far up the path to see. She took a deep breath and stepped towards the boat

"Coming?" she held out a hand to him, but his eyes were still resting on the spot Jake had disappeared. She huffed a sigh and took his hand "come on you idiot, ignore him. We've got eggs to find and this food needs dropping off." Jon attempted a smile but Ygritte could read him too well. This didn't omen a perfect day.

* * *

The world span beneath Jon's feet, and the stars stared down like tiny glowing suns. _oh wait…_ he laughed out loud and struggled onward, trying to point up at the sky over Ygritte's supporting shoulder. "Look, looooooook!"

"Yes Jon, we know, _shiny_" it turned out the blonde chick that had offered them the buckets was pretty strong and had offered to help get Jon home when everyone else had piled into a taxi.

"Just like…you…"

"I'm _very_ shiny, that's right" Ygritte voice strained under his weight. Jon pulled them to a stop "Jon, what?" he looked confused, looking down at her through bleary eyes.

"I'm drunk" he stated. She huffed out a sigh and tried to pull him onwards. She failed miserably "but _you're_ not drunk 'Gritte, you're not"  
"That's right now keep walking" she heaved him forward, groaning in the process. The rest of the way was just a blur of broken cobbles, shining stars and Ygritte's red hair that looked like fire through his eyes. They got to his flat pretty quickly, Ygritte fishing out his key from his jeans while that other blonde offloaded him onto the pavement by the door. They spoke, or at least Jon thought they did. The stars were just so goddamn _shiny_. He must have dozed off because the next things he knew he was being kicked conscious. A face loomed in front of his own, a nose ring glowing in front of his eyes.

"You've done pretty well to get him this far to be fair to you. C'mon lets get him in"

"Duuunerys?" he asked as they heaved him up to a standing position and into the building. Unluckily he had to brave the stairs, and for a minute his mood dropped as a wave of nausea hit him. Then it passed, and he was back to smiling like and idiot.

"How much does he know?" Dany said

"Nothing" Ygritte replied

"Literally nothing?"

"That's what nothing means. And don't say too much" she nodded her head in his direction.

"Oh he won't remember a thing in the morning" she waved her free hand. Jon shook his head in confusion

"Whuuuu?"

"Shhh" Dany shot at him "when were you planning on telling him?"

"Well I was going to wait until I knew for certain."

"Don't you want him there with you?"

"You know him; he doesn't want this. It'll break him." Jon wasn't sure what they were talking about, but he was starting to feel drowsy again.

"That's beyond the point, that's his _kid_!" jon stopped.

"…kid?" he asked, suddenly sobering. For a moment he looked stunned at the floor and then the moment his door was open ahead of him he flung himself towards the kitchen sink and threw up like there was no tomorrow. He felt soothing hands on the back of his neck, Ygritte's voice settling him.

"'Gritte, you have to tell him" Jon twisted his head to look over at Dany.

"Water" he murmured, wiping a hand across his mouth before sliding down the cabinet to slouch on the floor. He heard the tap run over the buzzing in his ears and soon enough a glass was being pressed into his hands.

"I know I just…look at him! Think of the state he was in after his Dad passed. and after his brothers crash. Just seeing him like this kills me. Imagine what he would be like after hearing this!" his eyes were drooping, and the noises around him began to fade. What was it there were saying? Something about a doctor? He sighed and then knew nothing of the world.

* * *

It was the light that woke him the next morning, stabbing at his eyelids frantically. They fluttered open, just as Ygritte entered the room, holding what looked like a strong cup of coffee. Jon Groaned.

"That's what you get for getting pissed and then falling asleep before I could get anymore water down you" she chuckled and lounged across the bed, blocking the sun from his face and stroking his cheek. "Lucky I didn't drink or you may have been sleeping down at the river" Jon pressed his hands into his eyes and coughed, trying to remember back to the night before. There was that blonde chick, and then the shiny stars and Ygritte on fire and…

"Dany?" he croaked questioningly. He pulled his hands away from his eyes, more of the night illuminating itself as he pondered. There was the doctor and arguing and water and…  
He bolted upwards, staring at Ygritte in shock. She seemed equally surprised.

"you, and" his eyes flicked to her navel just as a burning hit his stomach and he lurched behind him, luckily finding a bucket there in place of the red carpet that furnished the floor. He heard the door open as he caught his breath, wiping his mouth. He looked up to find Dany in the doorway, hair sweeping across his forehead as silver as ever.

"That's right tosspot." She raised her eyebrows "your girlfriend's Pregnant"


	3. Chapter 3

okay so for anyone following this story, this is just a sort of filler chaptery type thing. i love explorng Jon as a character and the moral battles he faces. i hope that's reflected in this chapter. enjoy!

* * *

In the time it took to drink a cup of tea, Jon had showered and dressed and was leaning against the fridge, hands deep in his pockets and eyes on the floor. Dany sat in the lounge soothing a fretting Ygritte.  
"What do you think he's thinking?" she whispered, peering over at him through worried green eyes.  
"Just give him time; it's going to take a while for everything to sink in. You know what he's like."  
"Yeah I know what he's like, and I'm scared he's going to go out and do something stupid."  
Meanwhile Jon's head was a storm.  
It was still throbbing and the half eaten bacon sandwich next to him hadn't gone very far in settling his roiling stomach. Thoughts whipped around his mind like a whirlwind; why? When? What was he going to do? What was _she_ going to do? And the biggest; was he ready to be a father? His head snapped up at the sound of Dany clearing her throat over the counter in front of him. Her hair was as short as it had been the last time they had seen each other. A couple of months ago, she had been involved in some accidental arson at a party and it singed half of her hair off. The room had been swirling with weed smoke and luckily Jon's father had been a good lawyer and they high school friends. If things had been any different she may have found herself dealing with a little more than some mottled skin at her hairline. One of the guys had been so stoned he had tried to blame the blaze on three imaginary dragons.

"You okay?" she asked

He glared at her

"Alright, just checking. She's freaking the fuck out over there" Jon's eyes crept hesitantly over her shoulder towards where Ygritte was sat, head in her hands, fingers entangled in her hair.

"I need to get out of here" he pushed himself out of the kitchen and made for the bedroom. He rifled through the wardrobe looking for his jacket he assumed had been put in there after last night. Jon span at a hand on his back to find Ygritte red eyed, a safe foot away. He looked at her for a painful moment and then turned back to the wardrobe. With an exasperated grunt he slammed the wardrobe door shut and made towards the door. Ygritte's hand was on his before he had taken three steps.

"Jon" he didn't turn "don't do anything rash" he paused for a moment and then pulled his hand away, rushing out of the door, leaving both of them without an answer.

* * *

_1, 2_ he took a breath at every break _1, 2_. Sweat dripped down into his eyes freely, but Jon merely blinked it away and continued hitting the shit out of the punch bag hanging before him. When he had entered the building, he hadn't turned on any of the lights so he now stood pooled in the faint light just managed to filter through the partially blacked out windows at the top of every wall. Slumping against the bag in front of him, he paused to think. When he had given Ygritte that promise ring he had been vowing to help her, to keep her safe, to never let her go. What was going to happen to all of that now? Did this change everything? He leant down and picked up the water bottle at her feet, sucked in a mouthful, swirled it around his mouth and then spat it out into the tiny sink in the corner of the room. As he turned back he found himself facing one of the full length mirrors against one wall. He had tired avoiding them; the very sight of himself sickened him. _What have I done?_ sliding down the wall by the door next to the changing room he tried to think of what advice his fellows would give him. Robb would look concerned and tell him he needed to think it through, but would be happy if Jon decided to go with it. His father would be much the same, apart from the disappointment Jon knew he would feel. Theon would slap him on the back and congratulate him on being laid before telling him to get out of that net ASAP. There was only one person who would really get how he was feeling. Slowly, he reached over for his phone, keying in the number. It rang four times before he got an answer.

"Hello?" at the sound of Catelyn's voice he groaned internally.

"Cat, hi, it's Jon I was just-"

"You want Arya I suppose? Or have you finally decided that it wasn't just her that was affected by…" she trailed off. There was an awkward silence.

"Cat, i-"

"here she is" he heard the exchange of phone from hand to hand and then his little sister's voice was blaring into his ear

"What have you done down idiot?

"nothing, I just, I needed" he took a breath and squeezed his eyes shut, willing the emotion welling behind his eyelids to crawl it's way back to his tear ducts where they have managed to stay locked up for so long.

"Jon?" she sounded concerned now "Jon, what is it?" he took a stuttered breath

"She's err Pregnant, Ygritte. She's pregnant."

"Shit. Wait a minute" he heard her move from room to room "mum, I'm taking this upstairs"

"What's he done now?" came Sansa's voice

"Nothing, nosy arse"

"Arya! You will not speak to your sister in-"

"Yeah, yeah whatever" Jon chuckled at the activity he knew was just day to day business for the Stark household. The slamming of a door and the eruption of Brand New in the background.

"Okay, they won't hear us, you're on speaker."

"Kay" there was a comfortable silence.

"Oh Jon, what the fuck were you thinking?" she sounded sympathetic.

"I was thinking that if I didn't do something she was going to go off with Jake again and I can't…I can't lose her Arya, not after dad and Robb"

"What does she want to do?"

"Well I don't know, I haven't spoken to her. I only found out this morning for Christ's sake."

"You at the ring?"

"Yeah"

"Oh" the great thing about talking to Arya was that they could sit either eating dinner, or over the phone or just watching TV and they would never feel the need to talk. They were completely content to sit in silence and just enjoy each others presence. It was a discovery they had made when she had been away at boarding school a couple of years ago. "What do you want to do?" she asked at last. He took a moment before answering.

"I don't know. I can't leave her, I love her but…"

"But_ what_?

"But" he struggled for the words for a moment "am I ready for this? I'm twenty one for heavens sake. I can't be responsible-"

"You're making excuses Jon" _she's right_ "you don't want someone else like you"_ I don't_ "but it wouldn't be like you. You know that"

"I know…" he rubbed a hand across his face "what do I do?" he was hanging onto her every word.

"You go back, and you talk to her about it."

"Right"

"You tell her you love her, but you're confused

"Okay"

" tell her you just don't want to mess up"

"Thank you"

"s'alright"  
"You coming down for my birthday?"

"Yeah"

"Kay"

"See you on the flip side"

"Bye" the phone rang off. Despite it all, he smiled. Trust one person to cheer him up. He pulled back the phone and dialled another number, raising it to his ear yet again. "Sam?"

"Jon, what are you…" he sounded confused

"I need the usual"

"Pink or white?" he thought for a moment

"Make it white. Extra sprinkles"

"You'll be wanting a cuppa?"

"Yeah. I'll be there in fifteen minutes"

* * *

"Did you use,_ y'know_" Sam looked around, lowering his voice "protection and stuff?" Jon would have laughed if he wasn't so gripped with anxiety.

"Yeah every time. She said she was doing everything she could do as well. We were careful" he didn't know why Sam has lowered his voice, they were the only ones in the shop. He had done well for himself, opening a little pastry shop about five minutes walk from the train station. He poured them both another cup of tea. "I should never have done anything in the first place. Should have waited"  
"No, you were right to let her in. this just happened that's all"

"Yeah, it happened alright" there was a pause as the both took a sip.

"y'know" Sam began, looking over at him on the opposite side of the room over his mug "this might not be such a bad thing" Jon placed his cup down and leaned on the table with his crossed elbows. "Maybe this has come at the right time, bit of responsibility and all that. And after everything…"

"Sam, this isn't a fucking goldfish, this is a kid. A living breathing human being. That's a little bit more than a_ 'little responsibility'_ and after what?" his eyes narrowed. Sam shifted in his seat.

"You've had a bad year. Maybe this can be a new start."

"Maybe, everything just seems so fucked up" Sam smiled, making Jon look suspiciously around himself "what are you smiling at?"

"You're swearing"

"So?"

"You only swear when you're frustrated" Jon scoffed and leaned back in his chair

"Well done captain obvious"

"No, I mean – you know what you want Jon, you just don't know how to have it"

"Sam you're not making sense"

"Look" he stood and took his mug around to the back of the counter, bringing back a box which he placed down on his own table before pulling up a chair to Jon's. "You're confused – and you should be. But you only swear when you can't have something. I know you well Jon Snow." He arched his eyebrows at him "you've always let yourself make decisions with Robb or your father in mind. They have always been shadowing you, getting in your way, even if you never realised it. Well they aren't anymore! Take control! Jon, you want this, you know you do. Don't let the ghosts of men long gone get in the way of that. This could be amazing, you and Ygritte could be amazing" he smiled kindly "be who you want to be Jon, be amazing" and with that he tapped his on the arm and made his way towards the kitchen. "That's your order on my table." He stared incredulously after him. Was he right? _Sam always is._

"Be amazing…" Jon repeated under his breath. He shook his head and shuffled over to Sam's table, lifting the lid off the box and grinning down at the two perfectly circular, perfectly white and perfectly sprinkled doughnuts placed delicately inside. "Thanks Sam" he breathed and exited the shop, heading towards home and possibly a whole new chapter to his life.


	4. Chapter 4

The snowmobile would have been a better way to travel Jon knew, but having to dig around in his flat for the key to the rented garage would have been too much of a fright for Ygritte when he had left the house this morning. The journey that usually took him around five minutes on his beautiful Harley took him more like twenty five at the pace he was walking. On any other day, with the sun bouncing off the cobbled street he would have wandered leisurely down to the river and back up through the park, maybe stopping to admire the boats making their way up and down the water serenely as the first of the weekenders of the season scrambled here and there after children, he knew, they regretted bringing out of the solace of toy packed houses. However, today was different and he knew not even a walk by one of his favourite places in the city wouldn't calm his frayed nerves.

Now the fact that he was on his way home with two doughnuts and a possible acceptance wasn't to say he was completely back to his normal self. Things like this were what usually set that inward ball rolling and before he knew it, Ygritte would be soothing a breaking down Jon yet again. It was a weakness, a flaw he knew; something he would have to work on but now was not the time.

He headed past Primark and down under the ground and back up a couple streets over from his own. For a moment he hesitated at the road corner, flicking his fingers against the box in his hands. Having thoroughly _not_ thought this over one part of his mind was literally screaming at him to drop the doughnuts and run as fast as he possibly could in the opposite direction. Another part of his brain however, more calmly reassured him that what he was doing was right and doing the right thing was just how Jon rolled.

The voice in his head made it seem a lot easier than it was in practice though, Jon thought as his heart continued to attempt to jump out of his mouth. His hands were shaking and his tired limbs were beginning to clock as he found himself regretting not taking the lift. The stairs were the safer option he had concluded after walking over to it and letting the doors open. He didn't seem to be the only one to have been drunk last night it seemed. At the thought he paused again on the top stair, feeling his stomach knot painfully. Whether from nerves or the receding hangover he didn't know. Either way he made it to the door within a moment and the he was sliding his key into the lock with a fumbling hand, hair falling annoyingly into his face. First order of business was a haircut after this then. Or he could just not and let it grow out. _Get a hold of yourself Jon._

He pushed the door open carefully, noticing the curtains still hadn't been pulled back from the windows and peering over at the wall clock he noticed it was only 10:30. Earlier than he had thought. The room appeared empty as Jon entered, placing his jacket over the table by the door and walking over to the kitchen, box in hand. He opened the fridge and grabbed the milk, screwing off the cap and taking a swig straight from it.

"Stop" the sudden voice brought his head around to find Ygritte stood over by the tiny hallway that lead to the one other room in the flat and the bathroom. Or shower room seeing as there wasn't a bath. Her eyes looked puffy, hair pulled back into a knot on top of her head, she gripped the sides of her body tightly. An impulse shot through Jon to walk over and stroke the tension from her muscles as she so often did with him but they needed to talk first. He paused with a mouthful and milk and looked between her and the bottle, confused. She raised a finger dismissively and gestured towards the bottle. "From the bottle, don't drink from the bottle" he swallowed and placed the cap back onto its owner before wiping a sleeve across his mouth.

"Sorry-"

"And the sleeve thing" she said, wiping a hand across her face and moving over to settle on the couch. "You won't wash that and it'll end up with disgusting sleeves like half of the things I've thrown out for you." He was surprised at her sudden tone of hopelessness, surprised at her lack of passion, of emotion he had found so deeply lodged into her personality. Though she wasn't openly soppy or melodramatic she, like her hair, could be fiery when provoked and considering he had walked out on her when she had revealed the fact she was carrying his kid it was extremely befuddling to watch as she slouched backwards and sighed deeply, sniffling slightly. He turned and put the bottle back into the fridge before grabbing the cardboard box and walking slowly over to the sofa. For a moment he just stood there looking at his feet and then hesitantly sank into the cushions about two feet away from his girlfriend. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her nibbling at a nail, one arm still firmly wrapped around herself. He tapped his fingers on the box slightly before lifting its lid and offering it to Ygritte, watching as her eyes slid from one doughnut to the other and then at the floor.

"Not much of a peace offering I know" he said, placing the box between them. "But I know you prefer the white icing and I asked for extra sprinkles? A crap apology I know…"

"Apology?" his eyes rose to her face, her own still trained on her lap but her fingers now entwining delicately on her thighs. She looked puzzled rather than angry which again surprised him. Was he ever going to figure her out?

"Yeah apology, for being a douche and walking off before. I didn't want to scare you or…anything"

"Too late" she rubbed her nose and sniffed again tightening the hair on her head and then pulling a leg up to hug.

"You knew I didn't have my keys…"

"They were in your jacket pocket" he stared at her confused and then whipped round off the sofa and grabbed his jacket, rifling around in the single pocket before grasping onto something that felt a lot like a solitary key. He closed his eyes and cursed under his breath. "I'm sorry, it hasn't got any charms on it I didn't realise it was here…"

"That's because I have them. She dug down into his pocket and drew out the mini photo and key ring he still owned from his first trip to Blackpool. She slid the plastic photo case out of its sleeve and rubbed a finger over the booth photo it contained. That had been the only evidence of his second visit to Blackpool, with her. She looked at him laughing as he pulled the most ridiculous face he had ever seen. Jon approached the sofa and paused behind where she was sat to see the photo a bit clearer. It surprised him how young they both looked when it had only been a few months previous. It made him sad to think how much had changed in such a short time.

After a moment she slipped the photo back into her pocket and resumed the urgent biting of a single nail on her left hand. He made his way back to his seat and looked nervously over at her

"You know you'll have no nails if you carry on doing that." She looked up at him then, the first proper eye contact they had shared since he had stepped through the door. He saw the hurt there, the worry and the childlike vulnerability he had only seen on occasion. Suddenly he felt like a child again, a sense of guilt filling him up like a balloon. She blinked rapidly and turned back to considering her fingernails. Jon wasn't sure how to start but he remembered the conversation he had just held with Sam. _Be amazing. _"Look, 'Gritte-"

"No you look" she raised her head so she was now staring blankly at the wall ahead of her. "One time your brother rode out on that bike of his and never came back. Then you came home hours later and couldn't speak for days because of the shock. You said you had been worried ever since Robb went fleeing off from Jeyne after they had argued. Now imagine me" she shifted slightly in her seat, still staring at the wall but now not so blankly. "I argue with you, shove news onto you I know you can't handle and you go off with a key to your bloody motor bike and expect _me_ to look? You could have fucking died and I wouldn't know Jon!" he was taken aback by her sudden outburst and wasn't sure how to handle it

"I was only gone a couple hours…"

"Yes a couple of hours away from me who sat here dreading the worse and knowing that it would be me to blame if anything had happened." She snapped her head around to look at him angrily. "So don't you tell me to look" Jon was slightly stunned but a slow trickle of understanding began to weave its way through his brain. This was what she did; she simplified things. She was a master procrastinator and so avoiding the subject was a ripe skill of hers. Ygritte was trying to overcome her anxiety by placing another worry over the top of it and make herself think that that one was worse. She had turned her body away from him, playing with the loose strand of one of the throw cushions. Jon sighed, half turned towards her awkwardly. He looked down at the box again, at the still perfect doughnuts it encased. After a minute or so of silence, as Jon waited for his resolve to return and dissolve the guilt still pounding through his veins he opened his mouth to speak.

"I talked to Sam. He said some stuff that got me thinking. In other words he called me an idiot." He noticed her lips turn up slightly at the corners "but the things is this doesn't have to be different we could just…I have the money"

"This isn't about the money Jon" her voice was beginning to crack. He frowned and transferred the box to the coffee table, sliding across the couch to sit closer to her. She turned further away to hide her face but he merely sighed again and stroked a finger across the top of her thigh.

"I know but if that's what you're worried about-"

"Jon I've only just graduated university, you're on your way to doing the same" she snapped her head around to face him again, a tear escaping her eye with the sudden movement "we still live over a hundred miles apart , me with my parents and you in a tiny flat with a damp problem and terrible central heating" he felt so hopeless at the look on her face – it sent shards into his heart. He remembered Sam's words again.

He took a breath "Well then…move in with me" she froze at that, eyes making tiny movements as she comprehended his words. He wiped away the tear and smiled weakly at her. "Obviously not here" he gestured to the room "with the damp problem and the size and the noise but-"

"Are you being serious?" her voice croaked. He considered for a moment and then reaching forward he picked up the two doughnuts and offered her one.

"Sign of a bargain well struck?" she hesitated as she took it from his hands, placing it on her leg before turning back to him.

"But you are being serious? Me and you and…" she stuttered on the last word but he supplied it for her.

"You, me and _our_ child" he made sure his voice came out steady. She wouldn't accept if she knew that inside he was screaming at the commitment he was making. He smiled softly. She looked confused for a moment until at last she picked up the doughnut. He went to bump it against hers but she held it back, moving to face him properly.

"You do know how much this is going to change out lives Jon Snow because I swear if you walk out…" she tried to look stern but her puffy eyes and messy hair just made him smile, he leant forward and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"I will never – and I mean never – walk out on you Ygritte. Not ever."

"You don't know that. Nobody can say that." he huffed out another sigh.

"If this is going to work we have to trust each other" she chewed her lip as Jon surveyed her through anxious eyes. She tapped the top of her doughnut and then picked it up and bumped it against his own before taking a bite. He grinned in return and ripped off a piece with his teeth.

"This isn't going to be easy" Ygritte stated with a full mouth. Jon swallowed and brushed back a fly away from her face.

"I know. But what ever is?" he shrugged and settled down to finishing his treat.

"What are we going to do about telling people?" she wiped her hands on her jeans after taking the final bite. Jon tensed. "Whatever you say, Cat isn't going to like it. And Arya…"

"Arya knows" when he realised what he'd said his eyes widened in horror but she just laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

"I knew she'd be the first to know. Although you aren't supposed to tell people for another few weeks. Superstition and all." The guilty look on his face as he swallowed the last of his doughnut told her all she needed to know. "And Sam I suppose?" she rolled her eyes. She snuggled up to his side, wrapping her arm around his shoulder. "Thank you" she murmured.

"What for?" he asked

"For letting me…for accepting this" she sighed, relaxing as she nuzzled closer.

"I wasn't going to leave you to deal with it on your own" he kissed the top of her head and rubbed soothing circles into the top of her arm. "Besides, now I'll see more of you"

"A _lot_ more" she chuckled. Jon thought into the silence that fell. How much had happened in a day? In a total of three hours his entire world had flipped on it's head but after this he could feel it settling out again. Whatever happened they would be okay. They _had_ to be. Not okay. _Amazing._

_**A/N**_ ohai guys! I'm SUPER SUPER sorry this took so long. As some of you may know I'm sort of running four fics at the minute and seeing as I'm coming up to exam season school is getting ridiculous. Who knew A level's were so tough? But yes here it is. I'm working on making the chapters a touch longer and doing them all from one POV instead of all this jumping about. This may not be possible in some chapters but I think it should work out for most!

Thank you all for reviewing, I appreciate it and I hope you continue to enjoy this story. To be honest this is the fist fic like this I've done so I'm still toeing it but I hope I'm doing okay thus far.


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